Finding the strength to relax

My head continues to spin from all of the studies.  I have been focusing in on the book “Poised for Grace, Annotations on the Bhagavad Gita from a Tantric perspective” by Douglas Brooks and have been learning so many juicy, chewy things about travelling gracefully through life.  I know that this is a book I will be referring to over the years as well as re-reading to better understand things that I may not be absorbing because I am not ready for the information.  The beautiful thing is that is will be there for me when I need it.  Life presents itself that way. 

While reading the book and listening to the mp3’s of Mitchel’s lectures, I am increasingly feeling the pulse of life.  It is a faint pulse but the pulse is there, beating, contracting and expanding.  I am more aware of the relationships that I have, how I am interacting with others, how those people interact with each other.  What I am reminded of, is that I and you have an effect on that pulse.  We are all connected, we all make the fabric of life and the more you know yourself and are true to that person, the stronger the thread.  The less pain you will experience because you will operate without effort, from a place of love.  Pure, beautiful, open and embracing love. 

Taking this onto the yoga mat I have realized that my aches and pains were often caused by my own clinging to life.  I was trying to force myself into a pose using my strength and at the same time using opposing strength to not allow myself to fall too deep into a pose and thereby protecting myself from injury.  The same could be said for many of us in life though, right?  How many times do we charge ahead to make new friends and relationships only to pull back to protect ourselves and not expose too much of who we are?  Concealment is one thing but what I’m talking about is closing off parts of ouselves that if opened could really expand our conciousness in the world.  Think about your most loving relationships .  They are rich because you can relax into them and be your full beautiful self.  Granted not everyone is open to receiving all of you but the more tuned in we become to this part of ourselves, the more these people present themselves to us.  It raises the standard for those around us and very often, most people subconsciously want to rise to that level also. 

So there I am on the mat, downward dog actually felt a little more loving and I find grace with less force.  I may lack physical strength to do Catarunga push-ups but the flow of breath feels easier and my body is more easily falling into place with a more graceful balance of strength and surrender.  Up to this point, I have had to take a break between yoga sessions because the following one or two days I was incredibly sore.  This week I have done three straight evenings and that soreness has been replaced with muscles that feel strong and relaxed.  This is accomplished because I’m showing open hearted love toward myself.

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