Finding love in the male mind

A dear friend of mine and I spoke last night.  She and her husband are arguing after years of not talking about certain issues.  They love each other and compliment each other so well yet, they had their blind spots.  It is so difficult to be there for someone that you care so much about and see them seethe in anger over their spouse.  I want to tell her to push through for the marriage but not by pushing him.  I want to tell her to be there as he tries to figure out a lifetime of fighting headwinds.

It got me thinking about men and the struggles they go through especially in mid-life.  Men are raised to be men (Roar!), procreate and be the providers for the family then mow the lawn on the weekends.  This is the 50’s equivelant of the woman being told to look nice for her husband, have children (boys preferably) that are well behaved and make your man look good.  There is so much more to each of us, so many desires that are unique to our spirit.  Most of us live our lives with the thought in the back of our mind that one day we will cease to exist and what does that mean, not for the legacy but for me, right now.  Perhaps women go through this earlier due to facing our child-bearing years.  In our 30’s we look at our mortality and passions and find that peace within ourselves, whether we have children or not.  Men go through the motions until the inner person they are meant to be boils over.  A lifetime of existance in an oppressive society can no longer keep the man down.  His inner demons and desires stare him in the face looking like a foreigner and yet, where does he turn?  It becomes a cliche to buy the sportscar or to study Buddhism but that is part of the process.  What spouses can do is to provide that support and even the tools for men to explore the their vulnerabilities that they feel is not socially acceptable to expose.  To allow them to find their middle path in life.  To take advantage of the strength and power that men naturally possess and tap into the part of them that can also stand back and realize that life is a short but awesome journey.  After all, we get to share in that journey also.

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