when to know when to leave

I don’t like posting bummer postings but this issue came up today and I’m trying to make sense of it.  You see, it’s my bosses birthday.  I was kind of excited for him since I always think we should celebrate our birthday – why not?  I didn’t get him cake or a card or really anything because he said he does not like people to know.  So, I told him “Happy Birthday!” and he responded with a smile and wink “thanks for that but don’t tell anyone!”  So his son called the office which he never does and I put him through, then his daughter.  He was in a meeting at that point so I made a note and sent her an instant message when he returned and she called him right back.  He took the call immediately.  He was excited to receive both calls.  Then he went to another meeting.  He was running right on time and his sister called.  Yay!  I told her he was walking down the hall & to hold on.  He walked up to my desk and I told him excitedly.  He said “is my sister on hold?” I said “yes”. He said “what the fuck did you do that for?”  <sigh>  he went in and spoke with her while packing his bag for an outside meeting.  He called me into his office after the call and wanted to know why I did that.  Um, because it’s family?  It’s your sister who has never called before so I figured she should be put through??  He shut me down that only his immediate family can be put through because his sister is long winded.  Then he left for his meeting.  I ended up so surprised that I found myself surging with emotions.  I walked into my former bosses office and cried.  My former boss isn’t a man that I got along with really well but he is first and foremost a gentleman.  He listened and without saying this directly, said that my boss is insecure and his flight response is to try to control situations and he ends up looking like a jerk.  He then suggested that if there isn’t synergy, look elsewhere because life is too short to put up with that.  So, now I’m eating a huge chocolate chip cookie thinking about it.  I need some skim milk.

quick update:  the boss called after his meeting in the city to apologize for being cranky this morning.  So, I take the beating then get the apology.  It sucks being the office wife – we can’t tell the boss what we really think without risking our job. 

With that being said, I wonder how I can bring my yoga into this.  Do I force myself through the aches and pains of this office or do I move on?  It’s important to confront what isn’t working by working with your strengths and I wonder how I can do that for this situation.  Life, especially in work, is not easy so how do I know if I am moving on versus running away from something?

One response to this post.

  1. One should always be “present” in such situations. Your boss is a true asshole. A real motherfucker.

    I would tell him just that.

    Even Gandhi didn’t suffer bastards gladly. He told them where to go.


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