Falling into position

I haven’t written recently.  It isn’t that I wasn’t inspired, I’m just at a place in my yoga training where I am drinking in its flavors and textures.  I have not quite decided what I am tasting so I cannot yet share it.  Maybe the moment right now as I am dropping my flow of thoughts into my laptop that it will happen, maybe not.  I can look back now at February and early March as the point of intensity.  I was a just washed dog, shaking & twisting the pent up emotions off her body.  I was asking myself why I was there, what was I thinking, what would I do with it.  I cried.  a lot.  I cried in class, I cried at work, I cried driving from work.  I had no idea why but I know it needed to happen and I kept going to classes looking for the answer.  And then the crying stopped.  The answer came in trikonasana.  I was pushing and pulling and pressing and reaching and my memory sparked a bright feeling from deep in my breath – I was dancing like I did as a child, expressing my body’s movement and flow.  At that moment, I relaxed, fell into the position deeper than I previously had and my practice took a step forward.

Yoga “duh” realization: Your body and mind function at their peak when they are relaxed!

One month after that, I had gained muscle where there was struggling to be some and I lost body fat without giving up ice cream.  It made me think of so many people that struggle with their weight – it has little to do with staring at food scales and telling yourself what you cannot have – finding your ideal body weight is about relaxing into who you are at your most perfect place in this moment.  I truly believe that excess body fat is more difficult to lose for someone that is thinking about it as an ‘it’ rather than allowing themself to just live their most optimal self in every moment.  Because of the yoga I actually can’t eat as much as I used to because I am more aware of the sensation of being full and poor quality food makes me even more sensitive.  I am by no means skinny nor do I want to be but I am my healthiest self that I can be in this moment and that is perfect.

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