Penultimate class

The penultimate yoga weekend is over!  The yoga teacher trainee’s have three weeks ‘off’ meaning, sitting in and observing classes, taking the mandatory minimum of 3 classes per week and meeting with other students to practice.  Not really time off but time instead that I’m hoping to figure out how to be comfortable with myself.  For the next few weeks, I’m getting a crash course in how to be me.  I just gotta be me!  Really!  This weekend we broke into groups of 8 and built an open class.  We each had roughly 8 minutes each to teach a portion of the hour and fifteen minute class.  The class was made of a great variety of students and people that I haven’t really worked with before.  It was really great.  So, with a couple hours to prepare with instructors observing we taught a class.  Everyone did great, I fumbled a bit.  My feedback was that I need to be more comfortable with myself.  I was told by a couple people that I need to trust what I know and know that I’m good.  I do pretty well with my adjustments – especially the twists but I need practice.  I don’t know where the lack of confidence is coming from.  I want to trust what I know and jump in and do it but then I always fear that everyone just knows more than I do.  This seems to be a lifelong pattern.  Anyway, that’s where I’m at right now.

Just a follow up from this posting.  After the navel gazing ceased, I was able to realize my voice and who I am.  I’m not the sweet school teacher’s that are in the class, nor am I the philosophy major, nor the analyzer.  I am myself.  The one that sees the yoga practice as a dance and not just a dance but the most beautiful and glittering dance of your life.  It’s graceful, strong, powerful and about surrendering to breath.  When you’re ready for the dance, I will be there to guide you.

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